I stared out the only window in my room not surprised by the fire on the mountain and the sun setting in the west. “That coal fire has been burning for months now. I wonder when it will finally burn out…?” I said it aloud to myself as if, if I didn’t say it aloud I wouldn’t really here it. Of course the coal fire was no where close to my house nor was it on the mountain that faced my window but it was what I thought of and what it reminded me what I desperately wanted to do, even thought I was too afraid to give it a try.
I sighed and gave into my temptation. I went to my computer desk and pulled out a box of matches and a candle. I carefully lit the candle and watched the match stick burn out before depositing it in my ask try. I pulled a cigarette from the box containing my matches and stared at it. “My parents are home. They’ll smell it,” I sighed and lit it up anyhow. “Maybe this will get rid of my feelings to want to get drunk or high.” For the past few week all I wanted was to do was go find my friend Becca and ask to come over one night when she and her boyfriend are getting high. They only smoke weed but that would be good enough for me. I breathed a deep sigh and took a puff of my cigarette and looked to my window again to see the scene had changed–as it often does at this time of day– to a beautiful orange pink purple blue and black masterpiece. I took another puff of the cigarette and sighed again.
A bird flew past my window and I wanted nothing more but to follow it. I followed the bird with my eyes to its nest in a tree just out of the view from my room. “If only I could fly away like you little bird. I’d return home of course when I was tired or hungry, but for just one day I want to be as free as you. I want to feel that lighter than air feeling. I want to lose the chains that bind me here and just fly.” I closed my eyes and leaned back. The cigarette smoke escaping out my open window. I took another puff and put it out. My head beginning to spin and I picked up my cell phone.
“Becca?” I asked casually.
“Jess? Hey what’s up?” She sounded truly happy to hear from me.
“Do you remember that pill you gave me in school? When I said I had a migraine?”
“Yeah, wasn’t it awesome?”
“I didn’t take it yet,” I was afraid it was strong and I didn’t’ want to get suspended.
“What is it?”
“Oh! Its like Vicodin, it makes you head spin a bit,” she replied, apparently ecstatic that I planed to take it.
“Is it safe to take with alcohol?” I asked eyeing a bottle of rum I had hidden in my room.
“Oh yeah! That makes it even better! You feel awesome. Trust me!”
“Okay thanks I think I’m gonna go do that now.”
“You do know we have school tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I don’t care. Cya.” and I hung up my phone before waiting for a response.
I do desperately want to do this thought I am only writing it for something to do.
oh yes i should tell you this is not a true story except for the getting the pill part and considering taking it. i did not however mostly because i’m afarid to…
